Saver lines... how to recover from audience lack of response

After some experience doing presentation for Airbus, I have faced some amazing lack of response, when I was really waiting for bursts of laughters.

I am not a clown, and I have feelings.
That's why I share those saver lines.

What to do or say when telling bad jokes:
- "I'm pretty sure I brushed my teeth this morning." (while approaching your hand towards your mouth and blowing on it)
- You take money of your wallet and you pretend to bribe someone to laugh next time.
- You say "Dang! My wife told me this would be funny"
- "Bob, I said it. You owe me fifty bucks."
- You say "I just love carambars. Now, I know I should just enjoy the candy and leave the rest". (only works in France).
- "What a great audience", Timmy style, or "Hi my name is Troy MacClure" and quickly change the subject.

Basically, making fun of yourself always works.
- "You have the HF or VHF choice. High French accent or Very high french accent." at the beginning. Then every time you have a silence you throw in "Frrrench humorrr" with a terrible accent. Works everytime.
- "OoooKayyy. Please do not take into account what I just said for the evaluation. Really.Please?"


I collected from greatpublispeaking.com

=> Do any of you out there speak English?
=> I've got a book for sale outside that explains these jokes. You may want to pick up a copy.
=> (If one person is laughing) Will you be kind enough to run around the room so it looks like everyone is having fun?
=> You have marvelous self-control.
=> I've got 20 more bad jokes just like that one and no one gets out until you start laughing.
=> [Pick out a well-known person in the crowd] Joe that's the last time I'm using one of your jokes.
=> I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing.
=> I was waiting on you a little on that one.
=> That was a Polaroid joke. It takes one minute to get it.
=> Everyone doesn't have to be funny all the time and I just proved it.


When the expected unexpected happens:
- Powerpoint bugs: "I had some nice visuals: here they are!" you show a small sheet of paper. Or "I did not know Boeing also made laptops".
- Mike goes down (microphone bugs). You start a charade.
- Your fly's unzipped. Pretend it's style, and encourage people to follow you. Blame them for being too conservative.
- Out of time. Quick conclusion.
Don't make any allusion to sex even if it is tempting. Just finish slowly and pretend this was an appetizer, they'll have to talk to you to get the real stuff.

Just get maximum scripted answers you can use when any occasion happens. Someone witty is just someone who has something to say in every situation.

See the following video to see a fantastic comeback.

What's going to be the new discrimination?

Obama is the new US president.
Woosh... that'a big step.

I saw on TV old black people crying,because they knew that the world as they knew it had changed. They could tell their grandchildren, that they could, as well, become president.

Striking moment. I could feel that the world had changed.

It has changed. So what?

Discrimination has just changed. We will discriminate other things.
Of course, someone homosexual could become US president.

But what about... a robot?

I am not joking, guys. What about a robot?
Japanese culture has been studying and exploring the future of human relationship with machines. Whether is it is Astro-Boy, Chobits or the Time of Eve.
Japanese people, with an ageing population, a love for technology, naturally endorse the use of robots and androids (human shaped robots).

With Artificial Intelligence increasing, the robots will be hard to tell from humans.
From then, why should they not be given equal rights as humans?
Why should they be treated as objects? Individuality will be a random function.

Maybe they would make sounder decisions, than a real person.

If you ask me that's going to be the future of discrimination and that will be a very hot topic in a few years. I've taken my side. I am pro-robot.

How the dip changed my mindset.

I read this little book a week ago.
It's called the dip.
It's written by internet marketing guru Seth Godin.

The concept is as simple as that:
















-Things are easy at the beginning.
-Then you reach "the dip", where you experience difficulties.
-People are expected to quit.
-Only few reach success, depending on their ability to pass the dip.

That's all.
I guess this simplistic concept is somewhat agreeable.

When do you experience the dip?

-Learning tennis is enjoyable at the beginning. Every hour you train, has a direct impact on your game. Then you start asking yourself if you should invest more time or not, to get better.
-Your company needs to find that competitive advantage that allows you to compete with the top companies (or to become the best).

That's when you start to doubt.

What did I learn from the DIP?
-It's OK to quit. When the dip is too large, and that there is no reason I would do better than anyone, then I should just quit. Put my energy where it makes a difference. Then stick with that.
-I no longer see difficulties. I see opportunities.
People say that in chinese, "problem" and "opportuny" are the same word (In fact I heard it in the Simpsons).
Now I look at difficulties like opportunities to make a difference with the competition. Every difficulty is an opportunity to make that step difference.

Thanks to the dip, I thrive for difficulties.
I'll ask for those, and make them stepping stones for my own personal accomplishment.

Happiness quantified

INSEE results are out.
At what age most french people happy?















I hear most people say: "NEVER!". They wouldn't be wrong, I think.
Happiness is a downwards slope until you reach 45.
That's the worst age. Explanation given, that's when your marriage explodes and you see your kids having more fun than you do.

Good news: the best is still to come. You reach maximum happiness after 60.

If you're interested : report is here.

I found it!

Haha!